Tuesday, August 30, 2005

the invention dimension

Here are a few million-dollar ideas that, for reasons both personal and legal I do not foresee capitalizing on myself. As Deng Xiao Ping said, "It is a glorious thing to become rich." I say, "Better you than me." For tax purposes anyway. I just spoke with my accountant and there is some question about tax brackets and income vouchers or whatever.

1.) Shoe-Boats. A spin-off of the shoes that pop out wheels 'n shit. These allow you to comfortably ford a moderately slow-moving and placid body of water in a refined and sophisticated manner. The early prototypes, "Submarine-Shoes,"had a tendency to simply drag the wearer across the riverbed often resulting in what my lawyers insist I refer to as "fatalities."

2.) Chair-Pants. This is most easily described as a comfortable and fashionable pair of slacks outfitted with a pair of concealed telescoping supports down the back of each leg. I maintain that a Co2 cartridge (to be triggered by a pull-cord located near the zipper) would be desirable for aid in rapid deployment situations.